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Post by Lerris on Jun 24, 2006 23:27:24 GMT -5
In the back of his mind, this one lone elf whom walked the paths of the forest was unashamed of the sword that hung off his belt. He had a reason for returning here, his reason was as simple as a single word that seemed to utter over and over again within his mind, reminding him of the duty his sword whispered to him, Revenge...
They had said he would be better off alone, they said he would grow and in time would learn to find his separate way. But the whole time a single string of doubt floated about his head, he was seventy something now, he had lost complete track of time, seems things loose importance when you are focused on revenge.
Abbot, his oldest of friends had been the one to shove him off….no, he had been the one whom had made him leave his home. That day when Abbot had calmly smiled, and handed him a walking staff and a few supplies and told him now was his time to find himself. Lerris had looked up dumbfounded, and shook his head, “Master Abbot, I don’t need to find myself, I am right here…how hard is that?”
The master had smiled upon his pupil that day, “Please Lerris, now is your time, remember that you will always have my friendship.” He had been angry, certainly; furious that his old friend would tell him that they were friends when this whole time he had been telling him to leave. He was angry at himself, for his error in judgment, for thinking this old fool had been his friend and ally and was in fact…his enemy.
At the time, it had all been so preposterous that he had not known what to say and had simply left without a word.
But times had changed now, he had aged, mentally and especially visibly. The elf had a beard now, dark and brown like his hair, he had lost track of that too. When you have your mind set on revenge, you choose to forget your looks. Lerris Saphire had forgotten what beings mean when they speak of friendship, when they speak of love and of joy.
He forgot these emotions, he chose to forget these emotions, he chose to forget what they even feel like. Jealousy he still understands, spite and pride he still feels, moral outrage goes hand in hand with what he wants, revenge. At this very moment Lerris is virtually incapable of caring of any other being, that’s when Abbot sees him, feels his eyes lock with his, he doesn’t smile, but simply, stares.
The older of the two breaks the silence first, “Lerris, my boy, look at y…” The younger-elf holds up his hand to cut him off, “Don’t say anything to me Abbot, because I do not think we have the time for the things I would have to say back at you.” Abbot shakes his head, “I guess you aren’t my pupil anymore, at some point I had to stop teaching you.”
Lerris’ eyes burned, he wasn’t sure why he was near tears, this man had hurt him more then anyone had ever. Perhaps, they were simply tears of anger, or frustration, Abbot said nothing more as a ring of steel filled the air around the young elf.
Oddly enough, Abbot did not move, he made no move to run away, or guard himself from what he seemed to know what was coming. He looked into the eyes of his former pupil, looked deep inside him and for the first time since he had made him leave, the old elf smiled.
It startled Lerris at first, too see someone like Abbot smile at him while he held a sword in anger next to him. “Are you going to kill me now Lerris? Then I suggest you raise your sword…” He tapped his chest on the left side, “My heart is here my friend, strike true.” Had he still been within his mind, Lerris would of dropped the sword and fell to his knees in tears. He couldn’t look into this being’s eyes and slay him, but over time hatred had burned his heart, it no longer cared for anyone but itself.
He starred into his old friend’s eyes, and lifted the blade, and even though he could of chosen the right way, he could of chosen to repent for his sins he coldly decided to end this being’s life.
The pupil blinked, the master did not.
As the body of the deceased slid from the end of the blade, leaving in it’s wake the blood of an innocent elf, it fell to the ground with a thud. Darkness enshrouded the woods, and it calmly told Lerris he had done the right thing, it slowly told him all was all right.
His body heaved as he stood over the corpse of the fallen Abbot, and within his own darkness he felt like he had accomplished all that he ever wanted out of life. Because the darkness always wants you to know that no matter what you do, sooner or later there will be brighter days, but this time, Lerris knew just a little better, he knew this time and always, the darkness lies.
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Post by Rowenna on Jun 26, 2006 3:12:14 GMT -5
Her presence was like a fire in the wood, the kind that danced with such effervescence, and warmed with aegis, and burned with a passionate intensity that threatened to consume all in its path, with a jocular disposition at that. She moved her sleek body amongst the wood, fast moving cedars flashing by, distorting the image of her body as it traveled in the forest. She had been there before. d*mn it all, she had been there before.
Rowen’s silver eyes moved across the cluttered boles of tree in her wake, letting it all sink in, the recognition reflecting in her eyes. Momentarily stopped in the wide of the wood, she looked about with the world that was coming back to her, bit by bit, moment by moment, time by time. She hadn’t meant to, but she was there again. She remembered. She remembered as sure as the scar on her shoulder, she was in Mirkwood, the home of the elf that wounded her, the elf she still owed in blood and pain and victory.
“Rowen!”
Not many things changed about Rowen since the last time she was there. She was only a few years older, no less c*ckier, perhaps even stronger, and she was as ever the same thief who killed and plundered and took pleasure in the sword. But there was one article of significance about her that was forever changed. A boy darted through the wood, running after like a wildcat, a natural poise about his body, though lacking speed when it came to the careless wandering of the woman he followed.
“Rowen, where are you?”
He emerged from the thicket. He was small and lean, not yet entered into adulthood, but old enough to survive on his own, for a little while. Though a child, there was something not altogether childlike about him. Darker. Knowing. He had an intellect that should not have belonged to a boy, but there he was, flesh and blood and bone and alive. As soon as his head stuck out of the branches and boles of tree, his movement was halted by the raised hand of Rowen, signaling for him to stop.
“Stay here, Byron,” she said to her student, one that had been put on her shoulders rather involuntarily. She looked at him, and a clever smirk played on her lips, and her eyes narrowed with fire. A very light smack on one cheek, “set up camp right here. I have to go see about an old friend of mine.”
She didn’t wait for him to say anything before she left him, running off into the wood, silent but for the gentle disturbance of rock and wood beneath her feet. Once, an elf had told her not to go on sneaking up on people. She didn’t listened. She never did. And if she was right, that same elf might know it, that day, as she followed the sonancy in the air, the sound she thought was the voice of an elf who gave her a scar she would not forget, and who she had yet to fight again to show she was better. And she was better. She had to be stronger, she had to be smarter, and she would make him know it before the day was out.
She had not planned to be there... indeed at first, there was regret, confusion, even anger. But as she heard that voice floating in the air, she could not be stopped, even by herself.
She skulked along the wood, slowing, coming closer to the beaten path. It was twilight. The sun was gone, but the light remained, and the sky was gray and blue, and the shadows on the earth made everything dimmer, but still beautiful in it’s own light. The twilight was on the path, and Rowen was one who spoke against traveling by road, such modes only taken by nightfall, and only used to stalk and to attack and to take from unsuspecting travelers. But this... this here was one notable exception. She emerged from the cedar trees and came onto the pathway, growing cautious, eyes looking about for all signs of life. The birds, the plants, deer...
Elves.
“Sir Saphire.”
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Post by Lerris on Jun 26, 2006 19:30:52 GMT -5
An elf that could of once been called Lerris Saphire stood to his full height, this time he looked not outward upon his fallen master before him. Nor did he choose to look upon the dark forest around him, nor out into the vast dark clouded sky above him, he instead for the first time since he had left these woods, turned his gaze inward.
Abbot’s death unlocked something inside this elf once known as Lerris, as if he had unlatched the lock on a furnace’s gate within his heart, and let the fire consume the already singed compassion inside him. He oddly welcomed the fire, and for the first time looked upon the world with cold freezing eyes and within his mind he crushed even the darkness around him.
He crushed it under his own mental-heel, as he watched even the darkness scatter before the heat of the furnace within him. They could still call him Lerris, but this one elf no longer had a name and to tell the truth he wasn’t sure if he wanted even to ever hear it spoken again.
Sir Saphire…
As if right on cue he heard it, and spun in the direction from which it had came. The furnace inside him flared, because it also wanted to help him forget even his name. Because the fire inside could sometimes even be worse then the darkness outside, because unlike the darkness, the fire doesn’t lie, it tells you the truth, even if it is a horrid truth and you welcome it, you agree with it.
The fire is worse, because you let it in with out even a fight...
He realized he still held the blade in his hand, and the elf lifted it pointing towards the direction from which his former name had been spoken. “If you intend to speak my name and stay hidden, so be it, but I swear to you I have no time for shadowed beings in the night. Make yourself shown, so we may finish this quick, I have better things to do with my time.”
It wasn’t a suggestion…it was a demand.
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Post by Rowenna on Jun 26, 2006 21:33:04 GMT -5
Rowen heard the voice and smiled, reminiscing on moments past, and she felt the sword on her belt and moved forward. She wasn’t scared of the way he sounded, she wasn’t scared of anything, ever, at any place or any time. That was a certain arrogance about the way she moved her body toward the sound of his voice, a certain superiority about her smile and the tilt of her head and the sway of her arms at her sides.
“Saphire,” Blackhawk hummed and grinned as she stepped lightly on the path in the forest. She didn’t see him, but she had a very good notion of where he was. “Do you remember me? I remember you. I remember you and me, right around here somewheres; I remember steel, and I remember blood. I remember telling you I don’t like being ordered around.”
She paused and let her eyes sweep over the terrain. Silver eyes, eyes that again took on the likeness of one who wondered and one who remembered and one who traced over memories like they were there in an instant, gone the next. One moment, clashing swords, one moment, a quiet twilight forest. One instant, blood and anger and dancing silhouettes by moonlight. Another, an empty expanse of cedars and birds and earth.
“Now... come out where I can see you.”
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Post by Lerris on Jul 2, 2006 21:47:54 GMT -5
He smiled, maybe it wasn’t even him that smiled, for Lerris wasn’t even sure if this was him whom had just killed his former master, or whom held this sword in his hand, or whom was about to speak; but Lerris did know one thing, and that was who had just spoken his name.
“Rowen…” It was almost a growl, she wasn’t one he felt like hearing let alone seeing at this time, matter of fact, he didn’t like seeing her anytime. But right now, Lerris wasn’t about to back down from such a thing as fighting with Rowen. Blood still stained his sword, and it had only been a snack, Rowen’s blood would be a feast, her death would calm the grumbling of his sword’s stomach.
He lowered his sword and stepped into the moonlight in front of her, his lips curled into a wicked grin as he caught her eyes. “Only death speaks in this forest tonight, if you choose to leave right now you may not join their call.” He took several steps towards her, and lifted his sword towards his hip, he stopped and did not even bother to give her time to make a choice.
Had she been smart enough, she would of turned and ran as soon as he had spoken. Had she been smart, she wouldn’t draw her sword and fight this elf whom had shrouded himself in the dark. But she wasn’t about to back down from someone like Lerris Saphire, he was just an elf, an elf who did not like to fight.
But Rowen didn’t know, she didn’t know that the part that was Lerris had been locked away in the back of his mind and had given way to something much darker. So the Dark elf feigned right, and kicked her in the left part of her stomach. This elf didn’t give warnings, this elf didn’t care about anything….
Except for his sword’s hunger for blood, and on this night he planned to oblige it.
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Post by Rowenna on Jul 2, 2006 22:18:22 GMT -5
Rowen jarred backward as the kick landed in her stomach, surprised, but fast recollected as she made distance and grasped the hilt of her sword.
“Lerris,” she spoke in words so tall and refined, back straightening from the blow she had received on her stomach. “That’s not very polite.”
Her boot slid back against the dry dirt, and she watched him, carefully, cautiously, though her eyes themselves did not look cautious. Arrogant, thingyy, unafraid, clever eyes, dexterous eyes, and unshaken by the elf. He was different--she could see that. But the balance between pride and intellect was won off by pride every time. He made a dirty move, but that didn’t change him from the elf who wouldn’t even kill her the last time they met. It almost made her angry. It almost boiled her blood how he didn’t finish it, how she was made to go on with a loss forever marked in her mind. She had lost. She didn’t care if he said it was a draw, but she had failed that day. Things like that didn’t go away, never went away until she repaid old debts.
“I can’t say why in the world you would attack me just now, Sir Saphire--considering how amiable we were as we parted ways. Good friends, I’d say--wouldn’t you?”
She drew her sword, and a magnificant sword it was. Her Xakaryas, the phoenix blade, carved in with the bird of fire along the steel. The moon reflected off the steel, and the sky did grow darker, the twilight taking its leave into blue night. She held out her sword in front, as if to attack, but then then she swung it beneath her belly as she made a low and respectful bow.
“I have an old score to settle with you. I want to even the odds today; what say you to that, Saphire?”
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Post by Lerris on Jul 7, 2006 20:04:00 GMT -5
In truth he didn’t really say anything, because this Saphire didn’t take time to talk; because this Saphire didn’t care to talk, he would rather fight…he would rather kill. He didn’t give warning, just as his last attack had been, he swung, connecting swords with Rowen, he growled and pushed forward against his own sword as Rowen pushed forward on hers.
He broke the lock and ducked, bringing the hilt of his sword straight up, trying to catch her in the chin but was easily blocked and thrown back. He left no time to catch breath as he went towards her right leg, her sword swung to block it but connected with nothing.
His sword was already on its way back up towards her left shoulder, because this elf did not fight fair, because this elf cared of nothing more then ending life. This elf played on weakness, this elf fought as dirty as he could, because sometimes you had to cheat to win.
Lerris Saphire wasn’t going to die, not at the hands of Rowen bloody Blackhawk at least. The sword blade didn’t connect, because Rowen was faster then that, she had brought up the blade just enough to block it as the edge of Lerris’ met her shoulder. It bled, but did not go through, the sword cried out in anger that it’s master had not fulfilled his promise of her death, and was tempting it with her blood.
He almost apologized to it, but this elf didn’t care for apologies, he only cared for the kill; and on this night, he intended to get it.
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Post by Rowenna on Jul 8, 2006 0:04:05 GMT -5
Rowen let open her jaw as though to expel a cry as the steel pierced her skin, though her voice was mute and silent. She pushed him back with the sharp of her sword against his own, and the pain of her wound sent shockwaves down her arm. She remembered the wound, right there, right where she had been struck. Where there was a prominent scar from a dagger that once sunk so deep beneath her skin, there was a bloodstain and cleanly ripped length of tunic. She didn’t think he would do it. She really didn’t think he would...
Her force broke, and she slid herself underneath his arm, fast like lightening, steel sliding against steel as she eased herself behind him, shoving him back clumsily, putting distance between them.
He wouldn’t... she thought to herself, and for the first time, it occurred to her that something was wrong, something was wrong with him, and she didn’t know what.
“What the hell is the matter with you?!” she cried out to him in a voice of apparent anger and subversive confoundedness, not showing her pain as a sweat built up on her forehead.
She let her sword droop as she released the hilt from her left hand. The sharp of the sword rested against the dirt as she let her arm rest, limp at her side, but only for a moment. She reverted herself to her former position, biting down the hurt in her shoulder as she lifted her weapon in a fighting stance. It hurt like all d*mnation, but she could take it. She wasn’t going to look weak in front of him, not ever. She was better than that. Better than the pain, better than scars, better than him.
“Answer me, d*mn you!”
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Post by Lerris on Jul 8, 2006 0:34:22 GMT -5
Lerris Saphire would of answered her, but as said elf was no longer his normal self he didn’t utter a word of why he had attacked her. He wasn’t going to lose to this human, he wasn’t going to die after his new life had been given to him, after he had just killed his former master Abbot.
Had he actually done that?
The part that was darkness within the elf told him he had, but it cooed that all was good and it planned to rid him of this Rowen, and have everything be all right in his life for once.
Rid himself of Rowen? Since when did she get here?
The darkness slashed at Rowen, it begged it’s host to let it finish the job and when this was all done they could sit alone, and have a nice long talk about what they were to do. The darkness played on the human’s weakness’ it tried it’s best to attack that left shoulder with all it’s might.
Why are you attacking Rowen? Why is she here? This isn’t right, light, I killed Abbot!
The darkness smiled, if darkness could do such a thing, and told him that there was no “I” in that killing, there was only we. Him and the darkness had killed him together, it was the right thing to do he had betrayed him!
The darkness refocused it’s efforts on Rowen then, and left Lerris to contemplate inside his mind what had just happened on this night. Abbot’s death by his own hand, and now soon to be Rowen’s…was that a good thing?
The darkness told him yes, Lerris shuddered, he had given into the fear.
Then, for the first time Lerris reached through the darkness, and spoke, “NO!” Came a voice from within the elf and out his lips, “This isn’t right!” It shouted, Rowen looked confused, and the darkness continued the assault.
He couldn’t do much else, he had given his body over to the shadow by opening his furnace door. He thought the fire would of burned it out, he thought he would of still had control, in his mind he shuddered again.
Even the brightest light, casts the darkest shadow…
He had given into the fear, and when you give into fear….The Darkness comes.
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Post by Rowenna on Jul 8, 2006 0:58:47 GMT -5
Rowen had been angered and bewildered, a sinking feeling in her gut as he attacked her and she blocked and went offensive. He yelled things at her, and that feeling only got worse, debilitating her movements, cluttering her mind, clinging to her blood and bones and insides. Not right, not right, she kept saying to herself, but she couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop, every blow coming on as it had before, just because she had to show she was better than he was. Just because he beat her, and she couldn’t be beaten, not ever, not by anybody, anywhere. Her movements became heavy, and she felt like her body couldn’t fight anymore, even though she knew she could if she tried. Her hand swung and her fist and the hilt of her sword smacked Lerris on one side of the head, forcing him on the dirt on which they fought.
“So, if you think it’s God-d**ned wrong, why did you attack me. Why won’t you talk to me, elf, say something!”
She hit him again with the back of her sword, her blood boiling to make him hurt for hurting her, but her mind and her gut numb with something else. It almost hurt, how much her mind tore her apart, it almost hurt how much she wanted to make him feel pain and how much she wanted to know what was wrong with him, but she both knew and wouldn’t admit that the elf was right. This was wrong. And it wasn’t with the fighting, and it wasn’t with her, it was him.
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Post by Lerris on Jul 8, 2006 16:18:09 GMT -5
He had still tried to argue, the shadow no longer was listening, focusing to intently on fighting Rowen. Darkness still held the forest, the darkness was no hindrance on the elf once known as Lerris, because he was the darkness, or at least that is what it kept repeating to him. In this night, the shadow felt his hosts anguish, and it was good. The shadow felt within Lerris’ own grim determination when he had seen Rowen. At first the shadow thought it to be hatred, but it wasn’t quite that, something else, a sense of…. It wasn’t given much time to think anymore, for Rowen got the upper hand, knocking the elf onto the ground with a thud. Then something odd was felt, deep inside his mind Lerris could of sworn he felt concern from Rowen, but he was going crazy…or at least that is what he kept trying to tell himself. You can’t kill Rowen…It felt odd when Lerris heard his own voice in his head, telling himself that he couldn’t kill Rowen. Since when had he cared about her at all? Since when did he have to tell himself to not do something? The shadow told him simply again that it would all be over soon, and they would have a talk alo… He didn’t want to talk alone with the shadow, he wanted the shadow out of his bloody head!He screamed, it was almost as if the forest had stopped and watched at attention to every detail going on in its grounds. No animal moved, no leaf fell from the trees and no wind blew to move those leaves. Only two beings, one stood over the other as the elf cried out in anguish. “You….” He muttered, “You listen to me…” The shadow screamed in his mind, he didn’t care, he screamed back, “You…you listen to me now!” The shadow wasn’t going to give up that easy and it forced him to his knees, but Lerris fought back, and amongst all the screaming in his head, and the quiet of the forest; only three words forced their way through the silence, through his lips, as he caught eyes with Rowen. “Please...kill me.” (See you in a week )
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Post by Rowenna on Jul 8, 2006 23:46:57 GMT -5
Rowen just stared. Her hand was wrapped around her sword, her eyes all livid with white hot fury, the fury of old debts and the anger at the elf who seemed too good to speak to her. Angry at how he acted, how he moved, how he spoke and didn’t speak; and then this. Her grip on the hilt of her sword tightened until her knuckles were white, and her teeth bit down with her eyes of passionate intensity, of deep and bottomless, silver moons that reflected everything she saw that day.
“You want me to kill you?” she said. Her voice was shaking, with ire, with burning. “You want me to kill you?! I will kill you, understand that Sir Saphire, I’ll kill you and I’ll show you how much stronger I am. I’ll kill you, but...”
Her voice softened. Even shook, her sword still raised, her silver eyes falling from ire to something that could not quite be described in words. Eyes of silver pools of water that wavered and ebbed and flowed with the tide and wind and ripples of quiet motion. The pool was deep with many things on the bottom that were not clear; with earth, with stones, with fish, with sprites, with many things invisible without submerging beneath the pool. Those were her eyes as her grip on the sword seemed to loosen and her anger seemed to fade, fast like hot iron in cold water, resulting in the unsteady aura of her being.
“... not like this.”
The steel disappeared in its leather sheath, the phoenix to bed before it came to life in scarlet. She held out her hand to help the elf to his feet, and she watched and waited.
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Post by Lerris on Jul 14, 2006 12:25:57 GMT -5
He wasn’t sure anymore if he had even been the one who had spoken, he wasn’t even sure if he had watched Rowen sheath her sword. Lerris didn’t grab her hand, he didn’t even make a move towards it to rise to his feet, and he didn’t even speak. Because inside his mind he tried to fight through his own fire, to lock back up that furnace that he had released so carelessly.
Walking through the fire was no easy objective, even if that fire was a fabrication of ones mind; it still burned at the touch. The shadow laughs and mocks him for trying to close that furnace, because it even knows that latching up that gate will not get rid of the darkness. Because the gate to hold your shadow in can sometimes be a powerful thing; but unfortunately it is never strong enough. Cracks form in your shield, and the darkness slowly slips through, and it does not bother to sneak in, it waits in the open for you to find it.
Because as the elf had failed to see, the bigger the gate, the larger the shadow, and Lerris Saphire’s gate was to big for even him to close. After you give over to the shadow, they say you can’t come back, they say you are lost in the darkness forever, lost in your own mind forever.
But what everyone fails to realize, everyone fails to see one simple thing that can bring you back. The shadow cannot create itself, because without a single little light, the shadow cannot exist, that is the downfall of the darkness, and Lerris Saphire knew it.
He reached out his hand, and took a firm grip on his light, and pulled himself out of the darkness, and even though right then he didn’t know it, he had grasped Rowen’s hand and lifted himself to his feet.
It took him several seconds to realize he was just standing there holding Rowen’s hand, it didn’t even matter that he was holding Rowen’s hand. Because it was him holding her hand, and standing there….not his shadow.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at her; he could hardly bring himself to look at anything. He slipped his hand out of hers, “Go now, if you wish to no longer kill me, then leave me to myself.”
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Post by Rowenna on Jul 17, 2006 16:34:07 GMT -5
Rowen just stood there, gazing at his diverted head. The twilight was long gone, and it was fully night now, black sky full of millions of bright lights, and two people underneath who did not move either which way. Yes, she had heard his words, solemn by comparison to the crazed calls she had witnessed before, but despite what was spoken, she didn’t know what to do. Something had happened that day, something important, and she just didn’t get it.
“Someday... I’d like to understand.”
It was the only thing she could think to say, the only important thing, the only thing that seemed to matter. She waited, standing and looking on with those silver pools, but she didn’t expect to get an answer. Not that day. Perhaps when they met again, ready to fight a real and fair battle to decide who was stronger than the other. Perchance, one day, before she killed him. But she didn’t move. Maybe she just wanted to hear him say something, given that he had almost said nothing, quite perturbing under the circumstances. Perhaps she really did expect him to answer, though really more likely, perhaps she didn’t like being told what to do.
Go now, if you wish to no longer kill me, then leave me to myself.
Silver ponds, fish, clutter, sprite.
After you, Sir elf. After you.
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Post by Lerris on Jul 22, 2006 15:53:12 GMT -5
Lerris heard her speak, but he paid little attention to what the words actually were. When she didn’t make any move to leave he turned, his back to her now, and realized he no longer gripped a sword in his hand. This time, he didn’t care where the sword was; he no longer cared for its hunger.
Let it starve…
He found himself not wanting to meet Rowen’s gaze, so he looked out about at the forest. The sudden silence seemed to feel odd now after so much had happened that night, after one had murdered another. He almost choked, when the sudden realization hit him that he had killed Abbot. He almost cried out in pain, but with the feeling of Rowen’s eyes on his back he only screamed on the inside, his soul yelled for redemption for him.
“Maybe someday Rowen…” It was all he could bring himself to say to answer her, he kept quite after, not wanting to test the lump in his throat. He walked forward, into the thickness of the trees, into the thickness of the silence and disappeared from sight.
Moonlight reflected in his eyes as the silence of the forest night hung about him like a damp cloth. With careful deliberation, he walked through an expanse of undergrowth, stopping within a place where the ground rolled smoothly down into a grass-covered clearing. He lowered to one knee behind the thick trees, and hung his head.
He closed his eyes, and for the first time in years he wept, for the death of his master, his friend. He wept for himself, knowing that something as this could never be forgiven, no matter how hard he tried to repent.
But he wept nonetheless...
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